I’ve had too much drawing this one, if maybe only because it gave me the chance to turn Movie Slate into Mummy Slate. Drawing those tattoos wasn’t as bad as you might imagine, but it still was rather time consuming. It was fun to make her cutie mark out of those hieroglyphs, plus wrapping her up in torn bandages. One thing I remember of this movie was how muted it was colour wise. It had a lot of greys, colourless greens, and in general it felt like a joyless movie. I wanted to bring some color back into it which is why the blues and the yellows are so accentuated. Also drawing Paul Pony is always a joy. He’s a cutie pie and his dead pan expression fits perfectly with the ridiculous situation.

Perhaps the worst crime of “The Mummy (2017)” is that, mixed with all the bullshit of trying to start up a cinematic universe like Marvel’s, there’s true potential for a fun adventure movie and plenty of good ideas thrown in there. The concept of a secret organization dedicated to categorize and stop paranormal entities can be really interesting and something worth expanding upon. The acting is pretty bad all across the board, but both Sofia Boutella and Russell Crowe do a really good job in this (for what’s required that is, nobody here is aiming for an Oscar). And some of the ideas and concepts are pretty interesting, like having the Mummy have double irises in her eyes, or using a magic dagger as means to control her powers. Hell I even liked some of the story elements in here, like the involvement of Crusaders in trying to contain the Mummy’s powers, or having the main character actually become a cursed being. These could all be fun in a different movie, but as it is this is not it. This movie is a complete and utter mess that doesn’t even know what it wants to be, because the studio execs at Universal felt like taking their old monsters and turn them into action movies (which is very presumptuous of them since they already have the Jurassic Park universe to deal with). Instead of making a more atmospheric low budget horror movie (possibly in association with Blumhouse _wink wink nudge nudge_) they dumped 125$mill. on this monstrosity that has zero personality, zero charm, and serves as a rather insulting instalment in a long series of horror movies that served as both good B-Movie fun and a pillar of modern movie making.

“The Mummy (2017)” may have good ideas in it, but it lacks soul, investment, care, respect, consistency and any sort of element that makes a movie be a movie. At its best it’s a watchable guilty pleasure, but at its worst it’s a bloody spit right in the eyes of a classic genre. Don’t even bother with it unless you’re drunk or you flick past by it while watching TV.