13.05.24.
So I turned twenty years old. I can't believe it.
It would seem that for only ten years I dreamed of becoming an adult. I would be able to buy what I want on my own, earn money, drink cold drinks, hehe)) And now I am overcome by a kind of longing, the realization that time is not infinite... it's even creepy somehow.
I've never been afraid of death, but lately I've often thought that I'm afraid to die🥴 Suddenly especially.
Anyway, I'm still here with you. I could have been gone once, black thoughts almost swallowed up my consciousness, but I was able to get out of this trap. I am very happy that then, in the period of 2016-18's, I did not make a fatal mistake. Now I have a loved one, a favorite study, a job. I communicate with people with pleasure, without excessive stiffness. I can be proud of myself, because I have achieved so much and transformed myself for the better.
I am ready to try, to change, to learn from my mistakes. Of course, I still have a lot to learn, go through something difficult, you can't be 100% prepared for this, but as long as I have youth and reliable people, I can look to the future with confidence.
Although obsessions often hit me in the gut. Unfortunately, I can't get rid of them yet, and I really hope that my possible OCD doesn't turn into something frightening.
It's still hard for me to live without rose-colored glasses, but I understand that living with them is sheer torture. It hurts every time when faced with reality.
Okay, I won't talk for long. I just wanted to remind myself and show people that I am not only a sucker artist from nowhere, but also a person who managed to overcome his fears, create a better version of himself.
I hope everyone who reads it will be able to be inspired by me and move on... If not, then I still hope that you will be able to change something in yourself or in your life for the better.
My career began in 2014, it was a golden era. However, I had to endure a lot, a lot of failures. They only strengthened me. Thanks to the people who drowned me on the Internet for plagiating and crooked drawing))) Now I draw better accurately.
I love everyone, hug and kiss.
(Finally, my normal portrait is on art. Also with elements of fiction, but close to reality. The poneh will be called simply Ddsmk. It is an androgynous, agender being.. It is not necessary to classify this horse to any one gender (it is possible to both), I don't care. It's me, yes).