It had been a month since the disappearance of the Elements of Harmony.

Being the only pony strong enough, Princess Luna took it upon herself to investigate the disappearance. Her leads pointed her toward some old ruins deep in the Everfree Forest, near Sweet Apple Acres. The ruins themselves were an old mausoleum that predated Ponyville, possibly some ancient settlement. Pinkie Pie had reportedly been sighted coming in and out of the ruins at night.

Subterfuge was not one of Pinkie’s strong points. Ponies that knew her knew that she couldn’t wait more than thirty seconds without drawing attention to herself. Whether it’s releasing a plethora of balloons, or blasting that party cannon, Pinkie could NOT keep a low profile. So it was of no surprise that Applebloom saw the cloud of balloons rising from the old place.

Weeds grew in the empty ruins of the mausoleum. Ancient headstones stood crooked in the ground, their inscriptions worn off by time. The door had been opened, descending into what would’ve been darkness for other ponies. As the princess of the night, Luna had a bit of natural night vision. A faint glow outlined all the edges of everything in the void as her leather hoof boots gently tapped against the dusty stone steps.

Deeper down was a hallway of sarcophagi lit up by the moon through holes in the ceiling. Luna surveyed the empty silent hall, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Cobwebs, a trickle of water in the corner, roots creeping through the holes in the ceiling, and an open dark doorway ahead.

“Hi!” echoed a sudden familiar voice from the darkness.

“Pinkie Pie? Is that you?” Luna called out.

Luna slowly followed the sound of the familiar voice. There was a giggle accompanied by jingling. Odd noises were to be expected with Pinkie, but jingling was usually around Hearth’s Warming… and Nightmare Night was still a month away.

Luna eventually found herself in another large round room full of sarcophagi, like the others. The ceiling was almost completely gone, and the whole room was lit up by the full moon. Pinkie Pie stood at the other side of the room, dressed in what looked like little more than a thong, some stockings and evening gloves with the same diamond checker pattern, and a jester’s broken crown.

“Pinkie Pie, all of Equestria has been searching for you. Where are the others?” Luna asked… with no answer save for another giggle and the jingle of bells sewn onto her broken crown.

“Pinkie?” Luna asked again, stepping closer. The pink mare stood still, hands still in front of her.

Luna slowly reached out to touch Pinkie on the shoulder when suddenly the pink mare whipped around to look her in the eyes. Her cyan eyes were now crimson and her grin exposed sharp fangs. Her breasts had been covered by two spade shapes and her nethers by a heart. In her hands was a strange jester’s puppet, with a sinister demonic smile on it’s face that matched Pinkie’s.

“Boo!” Pinkie said, with a short jump. Luna had grown quite accustomed to Pinkie’s surprises, so she barely flinched… but she was speechless as she looked at the odd mare. Pinkie giggled once more.

“Oh we’ve been looking for you too, Princess! We have this totally neat-o-pants plan (which is kind of odd since we don’t wear pants anymore, just these nice panties, even I don’t know why) and we spent WEEKS getting it ready! All we needed was Mayor Mare, and you, and now you’re here! Whoopee!” the mare babbled, bouncing around in circle.

“You and the others planned this?” Luna said puzzled, not keeping her eyes off the strange thing bouncing around her. Pinkie suddenly appeared behind her and nodded in confirmation, then disappeared behind her again, only to emerge from an open sarcophagus, arm wrapped around an old dusty pony skeleton.

“It all started when we went to get the Vampire Fruit Bats out of Applejack’s Orchard. But then Twilight cast this spell that turned Fluttershy into a vampire so we had to catch her and then she turned us into vampires too. Now we have neato powers, we never sleep except during the daytime, and also dress like the vampires in the movies too! Isn’t that neat?” Pinkie rambled again, without pausing for a breath.

Luna started to slowly back toward the exit… only to bump into something. She whipped around and there was Pinkie again, snout to snout with her.

The enigmatic mare spun her around to face back into the room and wrapped an arm around the princess’ shoulder, puppet still in hand. She still had her cotton candy smell.

“It’s a neat plan, but first we have to kidnap you and put you in some sexy clothes that Rarity made. I think there were other parts to the plan that were just BRILLIANT but I can’t remember what they are right now.” Pinkie said, shaking the demonic jester puppet and rattling the bells attached. She leaned in close to Luna’s ear and whispered, “I think this thing might be eating my memories!” The pink mare giggled loudly as she bounded around the room.

“You’d think this would be Twilight’s plan, but nope! Fluttershy is the one who commands this brood! Rainbow Dash is kinda like some big tough enforcer. Applejack is our weaponsmith. Rarity is our seer. Twilight is our… umm… wizard-slave-mare thing, and I’m… the jester! I even got a neat fun outfit! You’d think it’d be cold with so much skin revealing, but we never feel warm anymore anyway! Isn’t it weird that vampires still get aroused even though we’re still dead? What’s up with that? I think there’s some kind of…” Pinkie trailed off.

Luna stepped around Pinkie. She had to get out of this mausoleum. The thick trees over the ruined ceiling, while not enough to stop the moonlight, would be enough to entangle her and trap her as well. No, Luna would have to flee, back through the hall. She turned around and started to sprint…

————-

Ah! Finally I post! After several days of waiting for the fic to be edited. My Prime Description Bitch is still on a rampage. My description bitch clones are defective: they’re engrossed in the Terraria update and are currently starving to death playing said update. So I sought out avalon487 to do a little editing. I am pleased with his work, so I won’t euthanize him… yet.

This was actually the second one I worked on. Part two is the first one of these I did. I’ve started using textures made by yours truly. After this one I feel like I’m relying on them too much for backgrounds. They’re great and all, but I need to map out my backgrounds again.

Sometime after finishing this, I was given a link to a channel with videos about shading. I’m going to watch them and try to learn some shit.