Description:
Page 344 – Mr. Welch for Ponies, Cont.Author: Zarhon
Guest Author’s Note: “Now with more Spike, druids, and animals! This is why we can’t have nice things.
For those of you in the comments: Post a story of a stunt, scheme, or performance that got you experienced, performed, or witnessed, that had to be banned, vetoed, or otherwise stopped to prevent a campaign collapse.”
Transcript:
More things the Mane Six can no longer do during an RPG
- I cannot plan a heist, caper, or other form of high-profile theft just to steal common, easily-bought household objects.
- Nor use them to trespass public buildings such as hospitals, libraries, or other facilities I could enter freely.
- A library book fine is no justification for a caper.
- Power tools do not count as combat equipment in a setting with zombies.
- Nor are they the solution to everything.
- Not allowed to craft “higher power tools.”
- Nor am I allowed to teach animals or familiars how to use them.
- Even if the rules allow it, not allowed to pile or stack an infinite amount of creatures into a single space.
- I cannot use my familiars or animal companions as crafting materials.
- I cannot use any still-living creatures as any form of crafting material, even if they are made of such.
- Not allowed to use them as ranged or melee weapons either.
- Not allowed to cure poisoned allies with my bare hands.
- Not allowed to perform any type of surgery without any surgical tools or implements.
- Claws do not count as surgical or medical equipment.
- Not allowed to eat the treasure.
- Especially my allies’ share of it.
- Not allowed to hire minors to perform any task that would risk them taking combat damage.
- Nor am I allowed to have them perform animal handling checks in my stead.
- I do not gain exp for combat encounters won by minors, even if they are in my employ.
- Not allowed to train or teach animals how to use rope.
- Not allowed to train or teach familiars any form of humanoid restraint.
- Not allowed to feed my familiar with the druid’s animal companion.
- Or other familiars.
- Or the druid.
- Not allowed to plant, germinate, cultivate, spawn, or otherwise create any form of explosive flora or foliage.
- Or treants.
- Especially if I’m a druid.
- Martial combat techniques may not be used to perform heal checks.
- Nor can they be used to substitute animal handling.
- Any plans that involve high amounts of bees are automatically vetoed.
- Especially if I’m a druid.
- Shoving my face into a scrying pool or similar magical liquid doesn’t automatically let me use it.
- I am not to dive into, drink from, bathe within, or otherwise interact with a pool of volatile, harmful, or holy liquid.
- The same principle applies for any magical source, funnel, or font of arcane or magical energy. Especially artifacts.
- I may not use butterfly swarms for combat encounters.
- There is no such thing as a “dire butterfly swarm,” nor am I allowed to create one.
- Throwing rocks against a creature or monster of giant or gargantuan size does not equal an instant victory.
- There is no such thing as a “vorpal pebble.”
- Any build that allows me to use an ordinary slingshot to deal more than 10 dice of damage is automatically vetoed.
- I am not to value the life of plants higher than the life of the other characters, even if I am a druid.
- Non-sapient plants are not to be socialized with, even as a druid.
- I may not take non-sentient plants as companions or familiars, or into combat encounters.
- Nor do they get a share of the treasure.
- I may not perform any action, plan, scheme, or action that would cause the wrath and direct divine intervention of my own deity.
- Or any deity, for that matter.
- Any plan that requires the direct intervention of a deity to work can be assumed to be a very poor one.
